September 1, 2017 by thao

Darryll & Angela


Q1. What have been your greatest successes (physically, mentally or emotionally) since you began? How does your body feel now compared to when you started and WHY?

Darryll: Success, from the ancient Egyptian word “suxys”, meaning “ravenous beast person” can be measured in many different ways.  For instance, I hadn’t run any measurable distance in almost 10 years before I was saved by CrossFit.  Now, I can run 400m at a time without any real problems, a success for me.  I also had constant pain in my back, shoulders, and chest.  Since starting CrossFit, I have no sustained aches and pains, a marked success for me.  In all, my body feels great.  I’m a giant and a man-beast; a unicorn of sorts, and it feels great.  My current deadlift is 244,940 grams, or roughly 3.5 Kyles.

Angela: Greatest success? Every day has the potential to have great success in it so I don’t think I can answer that appropriately. Each day I see success at CrossFit and I find a way to push myself just a little harder. (“Ah, push it. Push it real good..” -Salt-n-Pepa)

Overall, I feel more energized each day and clear-minded since I’ve started CrossFit. Physically so much stronger. Some days I KNOW I can bench press a Mini Cooper. I just need to find a friend with a Mini Cooper.

Q2. How has your life changed since starting CrossFit training? Has CrossFit transferred over into any other areas of your life?

Darryll: Since starting CrossFit, I have grown six inches taller.  I can now reach items on the top shelf of the grocery store.  On top of that, my beard is much more voluminous, both in terms of girthiness and length.  I can only assume CrossFit had everything to do with it.  In addition, I can only talk about CrossFit at all times, which captures the attention of all those around me as I tell great tales of WODs and burpees.  I am a hero, a sort of Tony Danza of the 2010’s.

Angela: After starting Crossfit, I notice myself being less stressed and less likely to want to curse people out in public. It’s also a more fun, less expensive therapy session a few times a week.  It really has helped me feel like I can handle more in my day and I look forward to walking through the doors at DNR. Planning my week has now incorporated my CrossFit sessions and it feels awesome!

Q3. What are the advantages of CrossFit style training compared to your previous workout styles?

Darryll: CrossFit is superior, because it knows it is.  That alone makes it supremely better than any other workout style.  The mere mention of CrossFit adds 10 pounds to all of your max lifts.

Angela: Previously, I had a personal trainer in Ohio. After a while, the workouts became less beneficial and more boring. Once we moved to Colorado, we went to the “Walmart of gyms” and I continued to wander around the place aimlessly. I needed something to change up the workout and keep me entertained. Once we started Crossfit in November, I quickly began to feel strong and excited to show up every time. The encouragement from everyone has definitely helped me stay accountable, too! Receiving specific feedback from the coaches really helps tailor the workouts to make it work for us!

Q4. What advice can you give to others?

Darryll: CrossFit will make you more gorgeous than you could possibly imagine; it will make your teeth whiter and more straight, your hair long and magnificent, and your credit score will go up 150 points.  Your clothes will also be much nicer somehow, and you will find you are suddenly driving an Italian sports car.  Employers will call and offer you jobs you were not previously qualified for, nor did you apply for.  It is currently the only option for bettering your life.

Angela: Listen to your elders and don’t do drugs… Oh, and eat a donut when you feel like eating a donut. Regarding CrossFit, step outside the “box” with Crossfit and you’ll be surprised of what you’re capable of doing…. and don’t bust out your pretty teeth on the box. << Biggest CrossFit fear!

Athlete Specific Q.
Darryll, does the beard make one stronger?
Angela, Beard or no beard?
Darryll and Angela, have you finalized all the details for the wedding, most importantly did you figure out what beer you will have?

1) The beard is a gift from Odin, also known as Viking Jesus.  This gives me special powers, such as the ability to grow said beard at will.  The specific affects of the beard on my lifting ability is a complex mathematical equation.  Essentially, the girth of the beard is multiplied by the length of the beard.  This number is divided by the square root of the average length of each individual beard hair.  Then, this number is raised to the n power (n being the number of mustache hairs).  This number is squared.  The answer is the coefficient you will multiply by your former max lift.  I don’t expect the un-bearded to understand.
2) As for the beer, the only viable option is 3 pallets of Miller High Life.  As for the rest of the details, the wedding is going to be a full-fledged furry party.  I’m dressing as a salmon.

1) I agree that the beard creates some super powers for Darryll that are unexplainable to me. However, when it’s gnarly and untamed, I believe his strict press suffers.


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